A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
