Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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