there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
