I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
