I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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