Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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