he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
