Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
