I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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