dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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