Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
