She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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