got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
