If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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