Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
