Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
