All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
