Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
