you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
