I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
false alarm, still single
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