You're my little dorito
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
