My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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