no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
