Whod you bang
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
