i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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