Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
