Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
They left me at home... I'm a liability
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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