Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
