I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
