we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
