just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
