i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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