You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
my liver is dry heaving
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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