Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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