I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
