I saw his package. It spoke to me.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize