Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize