im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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