Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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