she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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