He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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