If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
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An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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