I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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