Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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