I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize