How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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