You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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