Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize