We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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