Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
