we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
