i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
