I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
