you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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