I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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