Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
