no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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