Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
