Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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