what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
