You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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