just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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