Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
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S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
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Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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