You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm experimenting with sincerity
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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