you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
