I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I know her cup size but not her name....
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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