Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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