does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Sober January is a disaster.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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