Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
4 words: hood of his car
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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