I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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